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You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy.
 
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Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in Jon Is Unrad's LiveJournal:

Monday, November 1st, 2004
5:02 pm
Blah and more Blah
I'm very sorry, for anyone whose feelings I may have hurt over the past few months. It's been a difficult time for me, and because of that I've been taking it out on those I love the most. I don't mean to be such an asshole, and I'm truly sorry that I am. I've been so fucking depressed dude, so fucking low. I don't want any sympathy. I don't want any damn attention. I don't deserve it, and I'm in a mental place where I don't feel like I deserve any friends. Still to you all I'm sorry. Sorry for being a dick, sorry for doing the same things that I felt were being done to me. I have to dig myself out of this hole and make myself right in the head again. For real. I do love you. I'm just really sorry. That's pretty much all I have to say. Can say. Peace out.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
2:02 pm
Does My Breath Stink?
Am I so boring... Look, dude, mang, homebrothers and sisters, I'm getting a complex. Why won't any of you call me back, or pick up a fucking phone? I have tried to called everyone. No one wants me. Shit on this. Laura... Ben... Etienne... Does my breath smell? Come on man, you can tell me. What's wrong guys? Am I really so fucking awful?
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
10:35 am
You all hate me then
It's fine if everyone wants to hate me. If you don't WANT to talk to me that's fine also. Don't brush me off though. Don't treat me like trash. Don't avoid my calls. Have the balls to say "Hey look, Jon, we don't want you around." Please just stop letting me make an asshole of myself because I'm trying to maintain this friendship. I too can put you on hold, and never come back. Thank you.
Thursday, June 24th, 2004
3:20 pm
I have to do what I feel is necessary for my well being.
Either I have lost my head, entirely, or I have had the most amazing life experience. Whichever the case may be I'm not sure that I am well equipped to handle it. I need to take a break. To gather my wits I guess. It's just that I can't be sure I haven't lost my sanity, and I wish I could be.

I've thought that the happenings might be an elaborate hoax, executed by people that I hold dearly as friends. We have been through such tremendous loss together, and for this I am so sorry. I've thought it must be my imagination. Maybe everything that's happened fucked me up. Seriously, I know I have had enough physical evidence presented to realize this is not so, but clearly I am left with some doubt. It doesn't change that I love you guys. I do know I'm not alone in this. And with all of my heart I hope that you are all holding up.

Laura, girl of my dreams. I realize that my love for you will be unreturned, for this life and the next. I do know that you love me, as your friend, a brother, but it's not any less painful to try to come to terms with. Etienne is fucking awesome, and I sincerely want you two happy together. I wish I could have been your mother this time around. I will always love you, for the rest of my life. I'm not ashamed to admit this. I want you to know I will be back, and I will have dealt with this. We are friends for life. Threads.

Etienne, take care of her. I don't even have to say that man, I know you will. J said you can't remember anything. Let me tell you this, I've seen you THERE. Ben is the only one who hasn't come. He's not doing very well. But even if you think I am a fucking psycho Etienne, I have seen you there. I've seen Jeff. J. My grandpa. I want so much to know that this is real dude.

I have to take off for a little while. Take a break to gather my senses. Figure out if I need to be committed. At this point my family is leading towards yes. I love all of you. I will be OK, and I will be back.
Saturday, June 19th, 2004
3:14 am
Wish they all could be California girls!
It would seem that a goddess is coming my way. Praise jallah, dude, she'll practically be in my backyard. Double-edged sword though, so close yet so far. <3
Monday, June 14th, 2004
5:20 pm
Twilight Zone
The similarity between myself and another certain someone, who happens to have a rad ass girlfriend, gets eerie from time to time. A little creepy. Yeah.

Um, my sack itches. I'm hungry. And yep, that's pretty much it.
Monday, June 7th, 2004
2:37 pm
Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
8:29 pm
So...
Maybe I'll try public again. Been a while, it has.

01. CA was RAD.
02. L was HAWT.
03. Fuck was she ever.
04. I passed up a triplicate.
05. Stupid, stupid Jon.
06. I touched E's stuff.
07. That's like peeing on another dog's tire.
08. Did NOT touch his bitch.
09. She would shiv my narrow ass.
10. Broke Chris' car.
11. Oops.
12. I like numbers.
13. I jacked off so hard to scene porn.
14. That I chaffed Little Jon***.
15. Not really. Or did I?

***His name isn't Little Jon. I swear dude. Guess what it REALLY is, and win a date with Tad Hamilton.
Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
12:20 pm
Damn.
I started smoking. I'm so dissapointed in myself. I was something like the last virgin. Maybe, I just wanted to be scene. I confess.
Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
4:25 am
You know
I think I have to do the F.O. thang for a while. A short hiatus from the outside world. In the face of all this loss and emotion, I'm not really up to the exposure. Yeah, dudes, F.O. for now. Also, Happy Birthday, J. God damn you, happy 24, sweetheart.
Thursday, February 19th, 2004
3:50 am
You are so fucking emo
All of you! And especially you! You know who I'm looking at.

Damnit I just want to belong. If I go now and cry in the bathroom, while I mopingly read Vonnegut to Dashboard Confessional, in a moth eaten pull-over from the Sal-V and lensless rims, can I join the club? I'll even do the god damn boy-boy kiss for you bitches.

I just want to be like everybody else, man!

Shit, you know I'm kidding. I love you little emo twits.
Sunday, February 8th, 2004
4:07 am
Jean Bo Bean
You are a filthy whore. But we love you still. I think.

p.s. I didn't realize girls even did that. Those 3 would have you believe they are incapable of FARTING.
Monday, February 2nd, 2004
5:12 pm
Women are insufferable.
I've had it with women! Why do they have to be so beautiful, and smell so damn good? The soft skin and softer curves. The voices, lips, legs. God how I hate them. But oh God, how I love them.
Friday, January 16th, 2004
2:20 pm
Putting this here too, for you bitches.
Maybe if you see it enough times it won't go over your heads. Not to jump in here or anything but I'm a guy. Want 2 cents? I'm not even pretending to care this time! Believe though, this goes against my ulterior motives. Yeah so, POC, don't stress dudes are dudes. It's hard enough to remember what we did that day let alone to talk about it with a motor mouth chick. I know I'm thinking about fucking. Start to get heated or make plans for the future and we're gone. In the head. Nothing's going on. Maybe we're thinking about the sexiness of your lips, wishing they were around our dicks. We're not listening to you talk about what kind of couch, or fucking dog, or house you want 5 years from now. It's got nothing to do with you. It's just like you don't speak english sometimes. It doesn't mean that we hate you. We deserve credit for feigning interest. We do that because we love you, not because we care what you just said about china patterns. We don't want you to, and we don't try to make you feel bad.

Girls seem to talk about things to talk about it, but when you tell us we want to fix it, so it goes away and you shut up. Listen to guys talk to each other. Joe isn't about "Suzy moved my clothes two inches away from hers, do you think that means she doesn't want to commit?" Yeah, I listen to you guys talk. You can't even bullshit. I'll give you this, it's a skull fuck. When we're trying to hook you, hell yeah, we pull out the concern... the yes baby, I agree, it'll be great, we'll do that and so on. When we've got you the hard work should be done. We filled our emo quota. Don't get me wrong, we have feelings. We think about them. When we're done it's done, no reason to sit and dwell on it, it's back to fucking, or maybe when you're going to get me some food or if you'll shut up so I can concentrate on my fucking game.

Etienne struck me as a regular guy, and unless he's fucking blind he knows he has a wonderful girlfriend, and that makes him feel good. He might not say it, maybe he should, but we're not girls. We don't think 'Hey, I know! I think I want to talk about feelings instead of beating the shit out of this mother fucker that just stabbed me through the chest and this controller is fucking bullshit.' Don't lie, you know you always want to talk during vein popping rage. We're busy ripping out cords and trying not to wrap them around your necks be happy with that. There will be time to talk about being old when we're old, when our dicks rust, and our hands shrivel up, and we can't do anything fun or run away when you want to talk anymore. :) Ok? Cheer up emogirl. Dude loves you, and see, I genuinely care because I do too. Now tell me about this hot girl fuck. I think I just earned it.

Also, I can't get in trouble for this. I call sanctuary. Remember, so much is lost in translation, and I never did learn to speak girl.

Current Mood: amused
Thursday, January 15th, 2004
8:03 pm
Etienne dude this is for you. Welcome to the um club thing.
After years, OK months, of studying the Triad of Diablerie, months of screaming "What the fuck does that mean?", and sulking until I'm told or get bored, I've gained a rough knowledge of their native tongue. Tread lightly brother as we enter the world of girl. (Sadly most of these words were from one entry in your girlfriend's journal! One man, just one.)

Entry: skit
Origin: skittish


1. A younger man, which they all seem to date.
2. Any male under 24 who fails to pay attention to long drawn out discussions about commitment, feelings, or the future.

Entry: Glenn Close
Origin: Fatal Attraction


1. A name commonly used to call themselves or each other out.
2. Behaving like the psychotic, love obsessed, stalkers we all know they are.

Entry: LT
Origin: long term


1. Dreaded abbreviation for long term relationship
2. Never ask, just ignore. Treat LT with the same caution you would a wolverine.

Entry: jumper
Origin: coward


1. Word used to describe fear, avoidance, cowardice.

Entry: heebies
Origin: a spook


1. freaked out
2. something uncomfortable, or foreboding.

Entry: POC
Origin: point of concern


1. Personal or relationship trouble often labeled for discussion as points of concern.
2. The "ladies" form a tight protective circle around any member displaying POCs. God help you if you have a penis.

Entry: WCS
Origin: worst case scenario


1. Self explanatory. Example: "OMG! My toenails don't match my panties this is so WCS!"

Entry: BCS
Origin: best case scenario


1. Again. See above.

Entry: The Exchange
Origin: secret swapping


1. Initiation ritual in which secrets are exchanged between a Triad member and a potential candidate. Candidate for what I've never been sure.
2. Method of bonding.
3. Very very scary. See TOS.

Entry: TOS
Origin: Terms Of Service


1. The rules of the exchange.
2. I have to believe that violation of TOS results in death.
3. I would prefer to believe it ends in naked jello wrestling.

Entry: + - x =
Origin: mathematical equations


1. Somehow these equations carry weightier meanings. I have yet to discover why.

Entry: loser
Origin: bad boyfriend


1. Generally, they complain that losers do not eat muffin, are stupid, lazy, inconsiderate, non-compliant, non-communicative.
2. Not all boyfriends are losers, but all boyfriends have the potential to be. Once dropped to loser status, they will never be redeemed.

Entry: triplicate
Origin: threesome


1. They plan these all the time. Pretending this isn't torture, like I'm not a guy.
2. They never include me. No matter how hard I try.

Entry: trike
Origin: third wheel


1. The girl joining the couple for before mentioned threesome.
2. "The girl who gets her fucking ass beat if she fucks with the rules." -Rina

Entry: Mark Demaline
Origin: Pathetic.Org


1. The embodiment of evil.
2. A really ugly man.
3. A great icon to use if you want to piss Laura off.

Entry: blandiose
Origin: really boring


1. "Something or someone that people think is rad, but it's not. It's boring. And stupid. Like you Jon." -Laura

Jon: I'm tired now. Can I stop?
Laura: Are you done?
Jon: Done enough.
Rina: How can you be "done enough".
Jon: I shouldn't have told you what I was doing. This was my fun! Leave it alone. You've soiled it.
Jon: Soiled it!
Jon: Soiled it!
Laura: Dood, tell Etienne you said that. He always says that!
Jon: You can't tell me what to do!
Laura: Fucking shit dood, don't start that with me too. You don't know me. Don't try to change me. I get that from HIM!
Jon: Good, you deserve it.
Friday, January 9th, 2004
8:15 pm
I'm using this layout.
I'm using this layout, because I know that you all hate it. I'm hoping that if I leave it long enough a certain someone will go off and call me. ;) I missed you bitches. I was getting bored. Jerking off alone is utilitarian. I have a much better time touching my cock while I'm talking to you. Ha! Ha! Also I need a new game. Dude, I'm broke though. What the fuck is going on with you guys? I'm off of everyone's lists and can't see the new entries. Add me? What about you pretty girl, will you add me again? It's okay if you won't. I'd understand.

Name it if you <3 me Alice: "What are you gonna get arrested for? Being awesome?"

Current Mood: hopeful
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